Who’s got the kids?

It really irritates me when I’m out alone and people who know me (usually men) ask me who’s got the kids. I think the clear assumption is my husband. And would you ever say that to a man?

I was at an industry awards work do this week and I bumped into a fellow parent from my older two’s school. This was the first thing he said to me after hello. What does this say about his view on women, working women and parenting. It’s just embarrassing and I feel sorry for his wife. If he had followed that straight after with ‘gosh that sounds terrible’ I would have forgiven him but to have that lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

The message that ‘who’s got the kids?’ gives is:

-Even though we are in a business setting I consider you a mother more than a manager

-Your job is to be at home with the kids

-You should be grateful to your husband tonight for letting you have a night out

-I don’t think mothers should travel for work (especially not for a night out several hours away from home, drinking until 2.30am while she has small children at home)

Unfortunately I was ill-equipped with a damning response other than ‘my husband obviously’. I will have to muse over that for next time.

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